One day a big fat tick that had fallen from a dog’s ear, was waiting for the dog to come back and lie down so she could climb back in.
A cat that was passing by saw her and asked: “What are you
doing all-alone on the ground? A tick on the ground is like a dying fish in the sand.”
“I wanted to suck very hard, and I slipped while I was pushing with these damned little paws, the dog’s ear suddenly flopped and I ended up on the ground!” answered the tick.
“What are you doing down there now? What are you waiting for?”
“I’m waiting for my dog or another dog, or maybe even a cat…I’ve got to sink my teeth into something!”
“Whatever, but just keep away from me, I really don’t have much blood!” he went on: “Listen, I really shouldn’t be telling you this, but you are in a bad spot at the moment. The farmers with their big boots walk through here, and you could end up squashed on the threshing floor! You should leave this yard as no dogs ever pass through here. Who knows what yours was doing here… move over there,” and the cat pointed with its paw, “there are always lots of dogs over there.”
The cat then shyly started talking about dogs, and how that very dog had it in for him and wanted the cat dead.
“Don’t you see? He has it in for me. What have I done to him? I’m forced to walk along walls; I can’t even put my paws on the ground. He chases me like a savage, with his big ugly mouth full of teeth, and if he catches me, I’ll end up dead on the ground!”
The big fat wrinkled tick was all confused by the loud meowing in his ear and the hot sun beating down on the farmyard. He didn’t want to die squashed in the farmyard, and he was roaring to jump up on something. The cat was bouncing up and down, and so he couldn’t jump on the cat!
“Do you understand what dogs do?” the cat started up again. “Their owners give them everything, and they still take it out on us, when we have to hunt everywhere for mice unless we want to die of hunger. Does it seem fair to you?”
“Oh fuck off!” answered the tick, lying half-dead in the farmyard. “What do you expect me to say, I live off dogs! I live on them! How can I say a bad word about them? Only once did I
bite into a cat! And God help me, it did nothing but jump from one wall to another and from one roof to another like a monkey looking for bananas! What little blood I got would lie heavy on my stomach and then I would be sick, so I wouldn’t even have a single drop left inside me. Listen, yes I’m talking to you: the sun is already hot enough to kill me, so just fuck off and leave me alone, I really can’t say a bad word about dogs and I think today is going to end in a bad way for me!”